


Junior Year

by shrivelife



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Multi, OCs - Freeform, all OCs - Freeform, but with schoolfeeding as actual school, set sort of where i imagine sollux would have lived, whatever schoolfeeding even is in canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-20 09:25:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4782209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrivelife/pseuds/shrivelife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name's Shrive Geloof (pronounced 'Halofe' - the g is soft, like an H, I know, I know, it's dumb, I'm SORRY) and this is, like, a journal? I guess? Starting about halfway through my junior year of schoolfeeding. I'm a couple perigees shy of eight sweeps. I have friends, and an awful cranky manipulative maybe-moirail and I'm a fucking WRECK.<br/>Anyway, here's my life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Junior Year

**Author's Note:**

> Alternating chapters of Shrive's diary (whatever it is she's thinking or feeling; not that reliable) and third-person narration (reliable, but really annoying to read. Pretty much just exposition, to make up for Shrive barging right in to begin a story with at least eight unintroduced troll characters with weird names and no defining characteristics.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> legit just me as a troll and my friends as trolls - well, it started that way. they've all grown. they're real OCs now. even shrive, who is significantly more cheerful and confident than i am. shrive doesn't have a troll fanfiction account actually she probably does nevermind.  
> this is an awful idea
> 
> important characters to know first of all (but don't worry if all the names fly out of your head, i'll fix this up later):
> 
> shrive geloof, tealblood, female. she's your pov. (she's me)  
> ellvay, aiggel and rozowy (male cobalt, male teal, and female rust respectively) - shrive's friends in class and school. aiggel and rozowy are moirails.  
> nokosu, ucinak and sudara - (female olive, male cerulean, female indigo) shrive's friends from the other schoolbuilding she used to attend, before shrive and nokosu moved to the new schoolbuilding. ucinak followed with no explanation, three perigees later.  
> anarin - goldblood, rozowy's matesprit.

Ucinak keeps trying to mollycoddle me.

I mean, he asked me out - flushed - that was two weeks ago now, and I said no. I could have fucking killed him. If this is why he moved schoolbuildings, which I'm pretty fucking sure it was, then let's just say it made me even more convinced I never wanted to date the guy. Anyway, first it was awkward, then I barely saw him, and now all of a sudden he trolls me every two seconds with 'How was your night?' and 'What do you have planned for tonight?' And they're just such _nothing_ questions. Like, it's not natural conversation. Not like I'd have with Ellvay or Aiggel. And contrast it with Rozowy, who I love to pieces - but much as I love her, we can't talk online. According to Ellvay it's because we both are stunted over Trollian, and much better at speaking face-to-face. (I should be good at typing. Words are my thing. I'm going to be a propagandealer if it kills me - not a goal which would put a tealblood in mortal danger, though, so saying that is pointless drama, isn't it. Maybe he's right. I'm a mess.)

But the POINT IS, Ucinak's weird and awkward and he shouldn't be. He weirds me out, because we're so similar but I don't think of myself at all like him, and he just keeps trying and I wish he'd lowkey go away. I wish he'd find himself a quadrantmate that wasn't me. I wish he hated Nokosu back, that would be so great. Or that seadweller in his mathematics group, I could see him with him in pretty much any quadrant that wasn't pitch. There's two. Perfect. Maybe then he'd leave me alone.

I mean, man, Nokosu and I were joking about how close I was to auspisticing them when we were just seven, and i thought it was funny, but it was also sort of real - and probably would have been my first real relationship if it hadn't been so unhealthy. Ucinak had no idea that N seriously didn't like him, because she acts that way to everyone, and he always thinks he knows better than others what's good for them. But I hate it! Everything he does is so like everything I do, and when he is oblivious or awkward, or when his obvious uncertainty seems pretentious instead of pitiable, I can't do anything but think _fucking messiahs am i like that?_ Not that I actually find the Messiahs s9 credita6le. I guess Sudara's rubbing off on me.

Jeez, he makes it so easy to hate him - not that I ever really properly have, I just want him to leave and take all his romantic intentions with him - but it just figures that the one quadrant he's never solicited me in is the only one I would ever consider for like a second after I'd known him a month.

I just wish he'd go away. And then I feel awful. That's not how you're meant to think about trolls. And it's not as if he's being deliberately an asshole. I'm gonna be, like, eight sweeps soon - they all will soon after - and here everyone still is not understanding basic social fucking cues. Like, all right, I can deal with that, but what terrifies me is maybe I'm just like that. I'm pretty sure sometimes that even a blind trunkbeast could tell from the other side of Alternia how pale I am for Ellvay - which just makes it worse, because the two relationships are an _exact_ _parallel_ , right down to apologising for things that yeah, you shouldn't have done because they were weird, but they were also fucking tiny and making a big deal of apologising over Trollian just comes off as insecure and _i swear to the mother grub ucinak stop apologising or i will strangle you_

UGH _._

(Also, nobody can ever find this.)

I wish I had a single working quadrant, instead of a possibly palecrush who's quite likely aromantic, a flushed possibility I've talked to less times than I have claws (he does have really cute horns though) and jack shit else. I feel like I should be auspisticing Rozowy and Ellvay sometimes but there's that dumb palecrush again (which I'm not even sure is 100% pale, but I feel less like a lovesick puppy if I focus on that half of it) - and plus, I'm god-awful at conflict resolution, along with every other type of romance. Aiggel would do a much better job if he and Roz weren't already so fucking deep into a huge custom-made diamond that you can barely see their skinny babbling asses from all the way out here in Nought-for-Four Land.

I have two flushed dalliances on record, one pale flippy thing on permanent hold, and like nothing else. I wish I had somebody to hate, but I just can't goddamnit my mentors were far too well-adjusted to explain error to me and now I think I think you have to find the good in everyone. Which of course you do, same way you have to accept a red partner's failures, but there has to be something hatable first! And I've practically trained myself out of hating. Guh.

(I am pretty sure Roz and Ellvay are bulge deep in something. I have absolutely nothing to go on other than the way they are around each other. And I legit can't tell if it's black or red - I guess they must be flipping? Because if it were black I don't get why they wouldn't just come out and say so. I just hope that whatever the fuck is going on, Anarin knows about it because as her fucking matesprit he _fucking oughta_. And if something is actually going on... honestly, it sort of sounds too weird. Like the kind of thing that only happens in shitty romcoms. I'm going to burst in on them straddling each other while making out (with just enough blood and bruises I can't tell what colour - and just enough clothes it isn't godawfully awkward), and say dramatically, 'Does Anarin know?' And Roz will say 'no' guiltily, and they'll both go, 'Shrive, we're sorry', and I will say 'You need to tell him. This is fucking ridiculous.' and LEAVE DRAMATICALLY.)

But let's be real even in that scenario I'd end up crying in a corner at how useless I am. What is WRONG with me. Do I have bipolar? I'm nowhere near gold-blooded. Fuck my life.


End file.
